Posted by: cueballcol | October 25, 2007


I wrote the below back in the summer of ’05 (no six string for me) and, even though it’s a little cheesy and rhymy (don’t think that’s a word, quick! distract them with jigging!, are they gone ?) it’s a fun little thing, so don’t mock it or make it feel bad about itself for’tis but a youngling with feelings, anyway….


Arrive at the airport with quite a big bear
Riding up front with nary a care
Play with the touch screen and nod at the guard
This is the way we start to die hard
Get kissed by a freak as Beethoven plays
Bump into some guy in a coke-induced haze
Walk around barefoot, makes fists with your toes
As bad guys arrive with will to impose
Crawling through ducts, dispose of a brother
Drop out a bad guy for cops to discover
Pick up a bag and shatter some glass
Cripple your feet to save your own ass
Strap on a hose and jump just in time
Then head to the vault to scupper the crime
Tape up the shooter and hold up your hands
Pull on the trigger and it’s “Happy trails Hans”
Let Al take out Karl and wouldn’t you know
As end credits roll “Let it snow, let it snow, let it snow”

I’m open to suggestions for further installments in this series, but if anyone suggests Aliens vs Predator I’ll scrag the motherf*cker, y’hear?



  1. that is quite good and i agree but who on earth would ever want to hear anything on alien vs predator. myself i dont even class it as part of the alien or predator coleetion cos it was just crap i mean i thought the girl was going to kiss predator at the end.

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