Posted by: cueballcol | December 5, 2007

XMAS ’07: CHRISTMAS DO-OVER

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Now I’ll warn you in advance on this one, I was only half watching it as we were entering stage two of the Xmas decorating programme: Tree Branch Expansion and Implementation with a side order of freezing my ass off on a rickety stepladder attaching coloured lanterns to the outside of the bay window. It looks good though, so it’s worth it, they were ony taken down in July though so I’ll have to try and do better next year. Which is not the situation facing Jay Mohr is this previously unheard of (by me) Xmas movie (seamless I tells ya! seamless), your man here gets to try and do better every day as he repeats Xmas Day until he gets it right and lives happily ever after with Andie MacDowell. Hang on, getting a little mixed up here. Yes, this is a blatant Groundhog Day ripoff (I’m not sure if Groundhog Day was a ripoff itself, there might be some obscure  French movie called Bastille Day comprised solely of a voice over and b&w photos for all I know, answers on a postcard Cueballians) written not with some exquisite quill with a tickly feather but from one of those comedy oversized pencils you get at the seaside in Rhyl with pictures of fucking dragons and cheese and shit. I think that metaphor ran away from me there, not to worry, noone comes here to read anything unless I stick something about Batman and Star Trek in it. Come to think of it, Christmas Do-Over is a lot like Batman and Star Trek as none of them were savvy enough to offer a part to Michael Biehn, which is just all kinds of wrong in my opinion.

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What you do get with Christmas Do-Over is Jack Deth himself and perennial father figure Tim Thomerson (father of Flash, father of Pasdar and now, in this, father of Princess Vespa), who manages to lend an air of dignity to proceedings, even while cavorting on stage to a cringeworthy Xmas rap dressed up as peas in a pod. This is at the repeated Xmas fair which provides the films undoubted highlight with Mohr involved in an almighty smackdown with Santa, Jesus, Mary and Joseph.
What you’ve got here is your typical asshole learns the error of his ways by way of becoming a bigger asshole then not being an asshole then being an asshole who speaks all meekly and tells the truth so you know he’s CHANGED. I might’ve missed something here but it looked like the repeating Christmas Day loop was broken by him conning his ex wife into dumping her nice new boyfriend for him. This new boyfriend guy seemed really nice and I was thinking the redemption would come with Mohr realising that this new guy made his ex happy and they deserved to be together. Maybe there was a part where he found this guy kicking puppies while pissing on the stars and stripes or something. I also missed the part that explained how a decent sized town had one road leading in and out of it, leaving Mohr stuck there when a blizzard..I mean boulder blocks the road. It didn’t look like a coastal town so I’m not sure how they explained that one, if anyone gave this thing their full attention then they can set me straight on these points.
This film had a few promising moments, but I think it was hampered somewhat by being made for TV. Like when they keep repeating Mohrs scuppering of the new boyfriends day by ruining his lightshow display by changing the message to things like “New Bf Hates Ex Wifey” and “New BF loves Misty” (I really should start taking notes), I’m not sure who Misty is and neither does anyone else so they lost me on that one. The point is you could imagine the fun to be had with an 18 certificate in this scenario, you could write all kinds of sick crap. You could also spend days figuring out some intricate Final Destination type death scenarios instead of just icing the path so New BF goes from arm-in-a-sling injuries to a full upper body cast. I’ve got the feeling this might alienate the target audience though. I think I know which I’d rather half watch, though.

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