Posted by: cueballcol | January 10, 2008

THE TOP FIVE FILMS OF 2007: DRAFT ONE

Once upon a time I’d spend whole days in the cinema. I’ve seen Stop! Or My Mom Will Shoot, Curly Sue, Spy Hard and Childs Play 2 in an actual cinema using a ticket paid for with actual cash money. That was back in the day, now ’tis but a rare occurence indeed that I sally forth ‘neath the hallowed archway of the local multiplex more than once a month. I don’t even rent that much anymore. If I’m not sufficiently empassioned enough to catch a film at the cinema then the desire wanes quickly enough that I can hold out for a Sky Premiere. So, with this in mind I present my Top Ten films of 2007. I’ll be compiling my list by searching the IMDB for all films dated ‘2007’ as this seems easier than relying on my addled memory. I’ll call this one DRAFT ONE and do another draft (expanded to a Top Ten) in six months time and another in twelve months (Top Twenty) as I’ll no doubt see a great deal more 2007 films over the coming months. In reverse order, and summarily followed by a Top Ten haven’t seen but want to list, here we go…

05. THE BOURNE ULTIMATUM

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I always feel like I’m missing something with these films. I feel like I should be a lot more excited and impressed than I actually am. Sure you’ve got your impressively staged action and smart looking stunts but I’m just sitting there thinking “Hmmm impressively staged action and smart looking stunts right there, no doubt about it.” I don’t find myself engaging with the films and, specifically, the Bourne character on anything other than an intellectual level. I thought Strathairn and Allen were great, could’ve done with more Considine and Bates and a smidgeon less Stiles. Good but not great.

04. 3:10 TO YUMA

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I haven’t seen The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford yet so this one gets my vote for best western of the year. The fact that it’s the only western I saw last year is besides the point, it’s a bloody good film. Gripping and exciting with two great brooding central performances from Russell Crowe and especially Christain Bale. To top it off you get a  nicely chilling psychopathic right-hand man from Ben Foster and some gnarly old Peter Fonda action to sweeten the pie. It’s no Unforgiven (and it’s certainly no Three Amigos!) but it’s solid and enjoyable stuff from Mangold.

03. I AM LEGEND

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The CGI albino vampire infected humans suck irradiated monkey balls. So I guess it is the measure of the film and, more specifically, the central performance from Will Smith that I was hugely entertained and drawn into this film. Admittedly, once the CGI machine goes into overdrive for the final act the film loses some of the momentum carefully set up at the start. Having the monsters only half seen in shadows or not all all (particularly in one very tense early scene with Smith searching for his dog in a darkened building) proved to be far more effective than the Mummy-type crap that followed. Never mind, it was still very enjoyable. And that dog is going to clean up at the animal oscars this year (doesn’t exist…I think…yet) now that they’ve stopped trying to free Willy.

02. LIVE FREE OR DIE HARD

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I always preferred the above title to Die Hard 4.0. I guess it could’ve been worse, they could’ve gone with dieharddotcom or some other crappy ‘puter reference. I could probably spend quite a bit of time pointing out the problems with this film but there were enough Die Hardian moments to warrant a free pass from me. You’ve got wisecracking Bruce, bad-guy-taunting Bruce and even riding-a-jet-like-a-fuckin-buckin-bronco Bruce. Yippe-kay-aye-mother-hubbard! (see Hot Funk clip below)

01. HOT FUZZ

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This film is utter genius and if you don’t agree then you can just go ahead and eat the peanuts outta my sheeit. I’ve watched it five times now and I still don’t think I’ve picked up on every gag and reference yet. Each time I watch it cements it in my mind as a classic, on an even higher level than the fantastic Shaun Of The Dead. Anyone that can come up with a supposedly adult detective snickering at the mention of ‘skidmarks’  is alright in my book. I could yammer on all day about this one so I’ll just leave you with a few choice moments from the film. Punch.That.Shit!

HOT FUNK

SHOOTOUT

NARP?

IN 5 SECONDS

WRIGHT, PEGG AND FROST INTERVIEW

Homework for 2008….
10.Eastern Promises
09.28 Weeks Later
08.30 Days of Night
07.Zodiac
06.Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford, The
05.Atonement
04.Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street
03.Grindhouse
02.No Country for Old Men
01.There Will Be Blood

THE 2007 MONKEY BALLS AWARD GOES TO….

Shrek The Third

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This is what happens to a family man. Look above and see what I didn’t see last year. And I saw this instead. Out of the other part threes of the year I enjoyed me some Spidey and let out a resounding Meh! for At World’s End. Transformers came close to pipping the green one for the title but pulled out the ‘Shallow Male Get Out of Jail Free Card’ with the double whammy of Megan Fox and er, Megan Fox I guess. I’m hoping John Turturro was just raising funds for his next directorial effort, but Jon Voight passed the point of no redemption around the time he was regurgitated by a giant snake.

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